Nothing to Miss
by Melanie Pachebel
Summary: The truth of never being loved by the one you loved and admired the most. Because that person, whom he had grown to love, didn’t love him back. That person loved another.
1. Yes, I Love You

Over all I have no idea where this is going, so help me with some ideas? xD

If you would like to critique please do so. :3

I would love to become a better author.

**Warning: Oh, yes. xD This may contain spoilers, just so you know. :3**

**Disclaimer:** Seriously, I don't own these characters.

* * *

It had only been a few times.

Only a few times for it to happen, and once it did, he knew there was no way to stop it. The long trip took him downhill into a whole new pit of depression.

One that grasped at his very heart and tugged until it ached with the truth. The truth of never being loved by the one you loved and admired the most. Because that person, whom he had grown to love, didn't love him back. That person loved another.

Hope sighed and rolled over onto his side. It had been a long day, Snow told everyone to rest for tomorrow, but Hope was still on edge and couldn't stop his mind from going over everything he knew and didn't know. He knew that his heart was beating quickly; he just didn't want to believe it. He knew that it happened every time Snow had touched him.

Even when he had tried to kill Snow, the man was forgiving and tried to save him. Hope had felt himself fall, being wrapped up in those strong arms before he lost consciousness. This was the first time he'd noticed such things. Snow also helped him back up while he, himself was injured, carrying Hope the whole way.

He just didn't know if he hated Snow anymore. He didn't know how his mother died. He didn't know who he should blame. His mind had broken when these odd feelings in his chest had occurred. And now? He didn't know if anything was real or if he was imagining things.

"I hate you," he whispered to himself, fat tears strolled down his cheeks as he sat up. Hunched over with his face in his hands, Hope cried out his pain, his confusion, his love, and his hate. "B-but..I love you too," he stammered as his shoulders shook with his pained sobs.

While Hope tried to rid himself of his childish tears before someone heard him a rough hand was placed on his shoulder. He stiffened and kept his face down, his blue eyes widening. He took a shaky deep breath and stared up at the older man. Hope's eyes narrowed slightly and more tears streamed down his face.

Snow could only stare at Hope. His facial features softened and he reached over to push the younger boy's hair out of his face. "What's wrong?" Snow whispered quietly.

Hope just let his face fall again and gazed into his lap. Small tears still flowing from his eyes, calming down a bit he sniffled. Though by this point his painful sobs were replaced with pathetic little hiccups, he still didn't dare to look back at Snow.

"Nothing," he mumbled out, his shoulders shaking with his hiccups. Why was the one to find him Snow? Why not Lightning or Fang, anyone else but Snow. Snow watched the teen with a frown and decided that it would be best not to pry. But a larger part of him really wanted to get down to the problem, telling him to keep asking, to find out what Hope was doing, and saying.

Snow glanced away from the smaller boy and stared off into the dark brush. There could be PSICOM lurking around, or any other harmful creature for that matter. He had to wonder if Fang and Lightning were alright. Hope peered at Snow through his eyelashes and furrowed his eyebrows.

His cheeks were rosy with embarrassment and his hair clung to his face. When Snow looked back down at the youth he smiled softly. "Is..This about Nora?" the man asked, "or maybe your dad?"

Hope shook his head and lay back down. He stretched out slightly and then rolled over to lie on his side. While Snow just observed and waited until Hope's breathing wasn't erratic, but calm and quiet. Once he heard the other drift off he smiled softly and tugged off his coat and laid it over top of the sleeping boy.

Before leaving to go rest himself he patted the boy's head and with that he walked off to find someplace comfortable for the night.


	2. Finger Tipped

Hey, again. xD

Thanks for the reviews. :3

UnderPants made me smile. x3 3

Tell me what you like about it, and what you don't like! 8'D

* * *

Hope frowned as Lightning killed yet another PSICOM. They were still piling in; forty, maybe fifty odd soldiers crouched and ready to fight. They were tense, waiting silently for the next shot, punch or spell to be cast. It seemed as if to last far too long as Hope bent his head to the side, and holding his boomerang poised ready to fight.

Fang was gesturing to some of the soldiers, almost screaming in her body language that she intended to kill them all. Snow on the other hand just winked at Hope when the boy looked back at him, making the teen whip his head back to the mess of PSICOM.

Off to his left side a gun fired straight at his legs and in a moments hesitation the bullets cut through his pants and his skin. Before his mind could wrap its self around the pain, he was on the back of Snow's Shiva, which was racing full speed away from the ambush. Snow and Lightning were shouting at each other, but the only word Hope could make out was 'shot', which he knew already.

Seconds later Hope came out of his shock and almost fell off of the motorbike, again. He clung to Snow and shivered, his leg was bleeding and he was sure that the bullet had shot straight through. Such thoughts were easily pushed aside when he came to realize that his leg felt like it was on fire.

"Snow," he whined quietly while squinting his eye lids together tightly. This had to be one of the worst wounds he'd gotten in a long time. This was the product of not paying attention to his opponent, something he had learned right at the start of this whole mess.

"Just hang in there," Snow called back to him. The man bit his tongue and crashed forward into the dense forests around them. With every passing minute the trees and creatures flew by. Time, humanity, emotions, and thoughts left far, far behind them. All Hope could do was concentrate on not crying out, though his leg had numbed and he couldn't really feel any more pain, but just an exaggerated throbbing sensation.

"Hey, Snow?" he asked quietly, snuggling flush against the older man's back. It felt good to hold onto him. But that was something he couldn't tell anyone, not even Vanile. It was his secret from the world, one that he could possibly take to his grave. His mind blanked momentarily and he blinked a couple of times. Hope wanted to sleep but thought better of it when he heard the bike's brakes squeal quietly.

"Yeah?" Snow answered swinging his leg off of the motorbike and turning off the engine. He didn't get off until Hope had let him go and was gripping his arm for support. Snow turned his head to look at the boy with a slight wink and a sorry, playful smile.

Hope held tight before snow lifted him off and down to the ground again. The smaller of the two clung to his arm and wobbled along beside. "Thanks," he said softly, trying not to fall over, a small sad smile spread over his face at the thought of being with Snow. It was a dream in and of its self, though he was sure, dead set on the fact that Snow wouldn't return his feelings.

Snow smiled and looked back at him. "You sit up here," he gesturing toward a large tree root poking through the over grown grass. Hope nodded and sat down, giving a sigh of relief before he glanced back at what Snow was doing.

By the time Hope had even noticed Snow was down on his knees examining the bullet wound. The only feeling that was registered for that moment was the fell of Snow's finger tips running over the irritated flesh around his leg. "Lucky, Kid," Snow grunted as he looked up at Hope. "You'll be fine, it only skimmed didn't go in or anything serious,"

Hope nodded and looked down at his leg seeing that the spell he had cast during the battle had helped to keep his body heal quickly. Now, most likely in a few more hours it would be fully healed and they would be on their way again. Snow sat at the base of a large tree and watched Hope.

His blue eyes fixed on the younger boy. Fascination with him had always been know to Snow, but now seemed different. But he didn't know what had changed about the silver haired youth. Maybe it was his will that changed? His kindness and generosity? Snow laughed slightly when he saw Hope waddling over to him.

"I.. Couldn't get comfy," Hope lied, his eyes darting to look out at the forests, almost as if he was expecting someone to come out of nowhere and attack. He sat down beside the larger man and rested his head on his shoulder. Sure enough, he was fast asleep, having pleasant dreams of what he thought would be true and what was never going to happen.


	3. Quite a Heart Beating

Err, sorry it took a while this time. ;w;

School was busy and I had little time to write anything. x3

But I think I've been going to much on the angst side with this story. o 3o

Thank you once again, Undies, Lacie, and Lovely. :3

Made my day reading the reviews, Giggling I was. x3

* * *

Nothing was alright this time. Everything was either floating or just blurry, not like the other times. Hope wasn't able to see much at all, but at least he saw the colours of shapes that were supposedly surrounding him. But as he blinked to clear his vision, a silhouette appeared off behind a large dark shadowed willow tree. Hope Squinted at the figure and shook his head. What was he seeing? His silver hair ruffled as he hung his head and thought for a moment. This wasn't normal at all, and for some reason his fogged up mind knew that.

With a gust of air pushed from his lips he ran up towards the figure, slowly getting closer and closer with every step. He was almost to the shadowy figure when the ground rumbled, there was no sound, no scream, no cries or yells for help, just the silence of Hope stepping into the air, and off of a cliff. Which had been covered by clouds and fog that reflected the grass around it, hugging each tendril until it matched with all of the natural grass around.

There wasn't much that Hope was able to say, he found that when he had looked around again, only to find himself in the exact same spot at the point where he had fallen. But, the willow tree and the figure were not there. He was so close to getting to it too. To see who was standing there, now it just seemed like a waste of his time. He stood up then and crossed his arms over his chest. A small pout was shown in his face as he looked around the cloudy area once more.

Just before he took another step forward a hand pressed down into his shoulder. Hope gasped at the hard shove backwards and met with someone else's larger body behind him. He leaned over the ground again and watched as the clouds disappeared. Only to reveal yet another cliff, this one seemingly higher than the other that he had fallen off of before, if he even had.

Feeling arms wrap around his waist He snapped out of his thoughts. Turning in the stronger persons grasp he smiled lightly, letting his body relax and yet still remain tense. The person had been Snow all along, he sort of knew that. Hope looked off to the side, seeing that the fog was rising, almost engulfing Snow from feet to head. Another shocked expression spread over his face and he clung on to the older man. Sobbing but still no sound would be heard. He couldn't even hear himself cry. Though the tears were quickly soaked up by Snow's shirt he just smiled sadly down at the smaller boy.

Hope looked back up at him and shook his head no, Snow could not leave him. No. Acting on impulse Hope stretched on his tippy toes and pressed his lips to Snow's softly. His eyes slipped shut, still letting his tears flow... The fog kept rising, almost up to the man waist, and Hope was panicking all over again, pounding his fists weakly into Snow's chest as he pulled away from the man looking away.

That was when he felt it. Felt Snow push his chin up and crash his lips to Hope's. The boy couldn't even be shocked or surprised at the sudden action. He just kissed back, needing the feeling of having his love be expressed. Just wanting at least a small taste of what he could never have.

That's when he felt Snow, as solid as he was, begun to vanish slowly, already his lower half was gone. Just above his abdomen Hope could feel bits of Snow's belly fly off and disappear like burnt ash into the swirling fog surrounding them.

There was nothing the younger boy could do but hug and plead silently for Snow to stay and not leave. He fisted his smaller pale hands into the large trench coat and pulled himself closer as he felt Snow _smile. _Hope pulled away enough to look up at the blonde and what he saw made him gasp and stumble a few inches away.

A deep purple tattoo was growing over the side of Snow's face, over his forehead, down his nose and zig zagged back again. Not only were there tattoos but small pieces of metal were poking through Snow's once scar less face. Growing larger every few seconds as his face contorted into painful spasms until everything stopped and a devilish grin spread over his beautifully monstrous face.

Hope had covered his mouth with his hands and shook his head as he backed away. He backed away right off of the cliff.

And this time he fell, his screams finally breaking the silence around the whole dream world he had created.

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Waking with a start Hope found himself still sleeping against Snow, and that the larger man had no dark tattoos on his face, or any other abnormalities. He sighed, relieved that nothing in his dream had been real, except for the underlying feelings and components he already knew were true. Hope rubbed his cheeks with his fingers and felt that he had been sweating, his dream must have made his whole body react to what was happening. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he remembered vividly of how it felt to kiss Snow.

The boy mentally scolded himself, he could dream, but it was never going to be reality. He glanced over to the large sleeping man and smiled softly, almost laughing at the face he was making. A cross between confusion and laughter.

The silver haired boy shifted out from under Snow and stretched his sore muscles while looking out into the green mess around, it was about mid-day and the sun was higher in the sky. He could hear Snow still breathing quietly behind him and he turned to look down at his face once more. Another tug at his heart and he smiled sadly.

An idea clicked in his mind. What were to happen if… If he'd kissed Snow while he was sleeping? The man was a deep sleeper and Hope doubted that he would even feel it. But there were still larger doubts in the boy's mind. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't tell Snow, but still at that very moment he couldn't care less.

Glancing about the area frantically he knelt down in front of his male companion. Just sitting there he stared, his breath caught in his throat from having himself so close to Snow. Hope lifted a hand timidly and placed it on the man's cheek softly, barely touching and leaned down slowly toward his face.

"Hope! Snow!" Fang called out as the woman and Lightening found their way to the spot Hope and Snow had finally stopped at. Hope leapt away from Snow as if he was a startled cat and stared wide eyed at the two before he felt his heart beating erratically in his chest again, though this time out of shock.


End file.
